X-pony
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: what happens when six bestest Pony gal-friends meet six Xenophobic stallion gun-nuts? The ride of their lives!


**X-Pony**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

"Sharp? That's his whole name?" Asked a large Stallion to his exhausted wife who'd just given birth to their son, like most Mare's they gained a small bit of precognition during childbirth...allowing them to see what name would suite their child the best...but ordinarily it be a two part, normal name...like Swirl Heart, Fudge Priest, or Nickleback Mime! Just Sharp...was just...ODD.

...however, that wasn't the only odd thing about him...it was the fact he already had his cutie mark at birth! Now despite the unprecedented nature of such an early cutie-mark, this would be a cause for celebration...except that the cutie mark...made no sense!

"What in Equestria dose _Vigilo, Confido_ mean?" Asks the baffled dad as he looks at the inverted green pentagon depicting those words plus a globe with an X going through it that was now on the newborn unicorn foal's flank...

...10 years later...

"Son, please don't go!" Urged Sharp's mother. Sharp just sighed, "Sorry Mom...but I have to know...what dose my cutie mark mean? What is my destiny?" And with that...he leaves his childhood home...and into the History books...

...5 years later...

Twilight Sparkle was NOT having a good day; first Princess Celestia refused to take the return of nightmare Moon seriously, then she forced her to waste time on a silly celebration and make friends, Forced to eat fifty times her body weight and now she's been drenched by a lazy Pegasus who wouldn't shut up about becoming a Wonderbolt!

"Once they see, my stuff. The Wonderbolts will make me an honorary member for sure!" Shouts Rainbow Dash excited.

"HAH! THE WONDERBOLTS ARE OVERRATED!" Shouted a shrill voice behind them. Rainbow gasped in horror, "BLASPHEMY! WHO DARES BESMIRCH THE WONDERBOLTS!?" She screams as she turns around, and nearly gets knocked over by a blur.

I-DARE-MY-NAME'S-BLUR-I-THINK-THE-WONDERBOLTS-ARE-OVERRATED-THE-SHADOWBOLTS-ARE-THE-TRUE-UNSUNG-HERO'S-OF-EQUESTRIA-THEIR-SOOOO-MUCH-MORE-AWESOME-BETTER-BRAVER-SMARTER-COOLER-AWESOMER-THEN-YOUR-SILLY-WONDERBOLTS-COULD-EVER-HOPE-TO-BE-DID-I-MENTION-THE-SHADOWBOLTS-ARE-AWESOME-WELL-I'LL-SAY-IT-AGAIN-BUT-MORE-IMPORTANT-HAVE-I-MENTIONED-THE-WONDERBOLTS-SUCKED-AND-FURTHERMORE-

And the Pegasus just droned on and on and on, never standing still, flying around in a blur all over, words coming out so fast that NOPONY could understand him...except apparently an increasingly enraged rainbow dash who was screaming bloody murder at him...

"What- What just happened here?" Asked a baffled Twilight as she watched the whole spectacle. "Sorry about my friend, perhaps I can explain?" Twilight turned around to see a rather rugged Unicorn Stallion her age walk up to her.

"Hello, my names Sharp, the annoyingly fast chatterbox is my friend Blur." He then gestures to the rest of his group, he points to an Earth pony wearing a lab coat- "That's Allen Weir" "Hello" He points to another Pegasus wearing grease stained overalls, "That's Raymond Shen- "Greetings." He points to a surprisingly well-dressed Unicorn, "Mr, 'High-and-mighty' is named Fancy Pants- "Charmed." And then to another Earth Pony...covered in scars and had a a deranged look in his eye. "And Mr. Psycho goes by Rico- "KABOOM! KABOOM!" Shouts the Earth Pony as he literally vomits out a bunch of bombs and juggles them.

Twilight looks at the bombs in fear, "Oooookay then." She says as she steps back a dozen feet from the clearly unhinged pony, she turns to Sharp. "Right...so..what's he- Points up to Blur who was still yammering to a screaming Rainbow Dash -talking about? What's a ShadowBolt?"

"I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat!" Shouts rainbow Dash...only for her jaw to drop when Blur quickly did it all in FIVE seconds. HA-HA-SO-MUCH-FOR-YOU-AND-YOUR-LAME-WONDERBOLTS-SLOWPOKE!" Mocked Blur.

Rainbow Dash's eyes became ablazed, "THE ONLY THING LAME IS YOU AND YOUR DUMB SHADOWBOLTS! YOU AND ME! RACE! NOW! LAST ONE'S THE REAL SLOPOKE!" She shrieked.

Sharp sighs as the race/screaming match continued. "Yeah...among his other- NUMEROUS quirks...the guys a conspiracy nut; 'SUPPOSEDLY', the Shadowbolts were a secret sub-sect of the Wonderbolts that was formed by Princess Luna before her banishment- Twilight's ears perked up with interest -without Celestia's knowledge or permission. Apparently they were the elite of the elite, sent to handle proverbial suicide missions, they were also supposed to be all about experimenting with new and unorthodox tactics and warfare...and then Celestia allegedly shut them down after Luna's banishment...if you believe the crackpots anyway."

Twilight leaned forward with interest, such things weren't usually her cup of oats. But she needed all the info about Princess luna/Nightmare moon she could get. "And what do you believe?" She asked curiously. Sharp shrugged, "We live in a crazy world...who's to say? But real or not, It's important to our friend so we'll believe in him...also he wouldn't stop bugging until we signed his dang petition."

"Petition?" Sharp groaned as he pulled out a paper, "A petition to give to Celestia during the celebration about reactivating the Shadowbolts...'shockingly' the six of us are the only one's who signed." He said sarcastically.

Twilight looked at him in disbelief, "Your not...seriously going to try to give Celestia this? I mean even if this weren't ridiculous all on it's own, the Princess is way to busy- Were ALL too busy -to accept audiences from anyone but people with important business-

And, then lightning hit Twilight's brain. Slowly, she took out her list of things she needed to accomplish for the Celebration...things that would take up much needed research of fighting Nightmare Moon...unless she pawned it off to someone else...

She smiled as she looked back up at Sharp, "-But luckily for you. I'm her pupil Twilight Sparkle, it will be easy for me to get you an audience with the Princess..provided you help me with a few things first..."

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
